Time Slows Down

Today, twice I double checked my phone for its clock… it seems that I gained extra time in this Peet’s Coffee shop. That almost never happens to me. It could be that this is the first true alone time I have had in weeks. 

I worked on the book for a bit. I need to use my bigger screen at home to get the paragraph spacing right, and see the layout.. and try to get the pagination right ( and trimmed so Squid doesn’t cil me.) It is exciting to work on it. I know we don’t have an agent.. that there’s no flashy book tour, but I feel good knowing that the proceeds all go to SEPTAR and there are kids who might read the words on those pages and feel just a little bit better, a little less alone. God willing and the creek don’t rise, the book should be available mid-November.

Jake and I went to urgent care yesterday. He does not have a broken meta-tarsal, as was feared. After a few x-rays we discovered he had only chipped a little tiny bit off of a little bitty bone. Given that one quarter of all the bones in the human body are in the feet, it is not surprising that he would break something. We are having the convergence I think of a few things:

• Jake has profound disabilities. He is unable to effectively communicate when he is in danger or injured. 
• Jake does have cerebral palsy. We forget this sometimes because he is so physical, and he eats by mouth and he has no tubes or crutches, and mostly does not use a wheelchair. Most of the kids we know with CP, they are more stereotypical. 
• Jake is an eight year old boy. He loves to climb and jump and explore and race around and feel the dirt between his toes. 
• Jake likes being in bare feet.

I had not actually prepared for weekly urgent care/hospital visits. I did not break any bones until I was 11 I think. By his age I had chipped a tooth,  and had stitches (once), but I’m pretty sure I didn’t break anything until the roller skating incident. They used to have speed skate/a race at least once during each skate night. I was pretty fast, but not that fast, and was especially not in the winner category when I tripped over my own slates and landed on my right wrist. I also broke my left wrist falling off of someone’s back in a game of horse (now who the hell was I ever smaller than? Perhaps that’s why I fell?), and the third break, on my right arm again was from? I have no idea. I just remember that I had a wrist brace on both arms for three days during a period of time when one was healing and the other had been fractured.

Anywhoooo. I guess I forgot that Jake would get injured from normal playing too. I read a lot. I played some sports and rode my bike, but for the most part, Jake’s play life is much more physical than mine ever was. I am trying to find a balance between keeping him safe and keeping him from being bored. 

Jake’s bus is coming soon. I must swill my coffee and head back home to pick him up from the bus. It’s been a nice little vortex here, full of time, no children,  many business conversations going on around me. I am well caffeinated now, and thus fortified against what this afternoon may bring. Hopefully no injuries. These co-pays are killing me.

Time Slows Down

Today, twice I double checked my phone for its clock… it seems that I gained extra time in this Peet’s Coffee shop. That almost never happens to me. It could be that this is the first true alone time I have had in weeks. 

I worked on the book for a bit. I need to use my bigger screen at home to get the paragraph spacing right, and see the layout.. and try to get the pagination right ( and trimmed so Squid doesn’t cil me.) It is exciting to work on it. I know we don’t have an agent.. that there’s no flashy book tour, but I feel good knowing that the proceeds all go to SEPTAR and there are kids who might read the words on those pages and feel just a little bit better, a little less alone. God willing and the creek don’t rise, the book should be available mid-November.

Jake and I went to urgent care yesterday. He does not have a broken meta-tarsal, as was feared. After a few x-rays we discovered he had only chipped a little tiny bit off of a little bitty bone. Given that one quarter of all the bones in the human body are in the feet, it is not surprising that he would break something. We are having the convergence I think of a few things:

• Jake has profound disabilities. He is unable to effectively communicate when he is in danger or injured. 
• Jake does have cerebral palsy. We forget this sometimes because he is so physical, and he eats by mouth and he has no tubes or crutches, and mostly does not use a wheelchair. Most of the kids we know with CP, they are more stereotypical. 
• Jake is an eight year old boy. He loves to climb and jump and explore and race around and feel the dirt between his toes. 
• Jake likes being in bare feet.

I had not actually prepared for weekly urgent care/hospital visits. I did not break any bones until I was 11 I think. By his age I had chipped a tooth,  and had stitches (once), but I’m pretty sure I didn’t break anything until the roller skating incident. They used to have speed skate/a race at least once during each skate night. I was pretty fast, but not that fast, and was especially not in the winner category when I tripped over my own slates and landed on my right wrist. I also broke my left wrist falling off of someone’s back in a game of horse (now who the hell was I ever smaller than? Perhaps that’s why I fell?), and the third break, on my right arm again was from? I have no idea. I just remember that I had a wrist brace on both arms for three days during a period of time when one was healing and the other had been fractured.

Anywhoooo. I guess I forgot that Jake would get injured from normal playing too. I read a lot. I played some sports and rode my bike, but for the most part, Jake’s play life is much more physical than mine ever was. I am trying to find a balance between keeping him safe and keeping him from being bored. 

Jake’s bus is coming soon. I must swill my coffee and head back home to pick him up from the bus. It’s been a nice little vortex here, full of time, no children,  many business conversations going on around me. I am well caffeinated now, and thus fortified against what this afternoon may bring. Hopefully no injuries. These co-pays are killing me.

Love Notes

New Story posted on Can I Sit With You? Love Notes by Tanya Foubert.

One girl’s foray into shop class, and the inevitable gender bias that greets her.

Another Embarrasing Story to Help Children…

this one is all mine http://www.canisitwithyou.org

“Lena” and I were best friends in fourth and fifth grade. We even had boyfriends who were best friends. She came all the way from the other side of town to come to the GATE classes at our school. We went to different middle schools and pretty much lost contact some time during those junior high years.

She was a US champion surfer, which I suppose, is something that happens when you grow up in Southern California, you know movie stars and champion surfers. I also know she went to UCI (probably even took a class from my dad!)and I think she got a degree in Chemistry. I am fairly certain she is a pediatrician now.

now I sound like a stalker….

Every Action

has an equal and opposite reaction:

Jake off of his Adderall XR:

• more verbalization
• more silliness
• less able to sit in class
• more clearly visible by his reactions that he is “there” because he is making sounds and laughing appropriately at funny things
• I feel like I need to research every drug on the market to find him a new drug that will help him focus without losing what little verbal ability he has.

Travel to Tahoe, Southern California, East Bay and everywhere else we went this summer:

• Lots of great memories for kiddos and grownups
• Nice things to reference in the car when we there is a crybaby Lucy who misses her cousins
• Out of control laundry and suitcases that have not officially been unpacked completely in over a month.
• Nagging feeling that I am behind

I have finally done all of the laundry:

• can’t find any time to fold it unless I am awake at 2am
• can’t find anything because it is in a gajillion baskets all over my bedroom
• brief sense of accomplishment until I open the dryer and find more clothing that, while clean and dry… is still magically not going to be folded and put away.
• constant feeling that I am behind

Date night with Descartes on Thursdays:

• happy husband and wife who actually talked…to each other.. throughout an entire dinner about more than just who needs to go potty.
• less cash
• less time to do crappy laundry (see above)

Can I Sit With You? book number two being published this fall:

• whooo hoooo excitement and thrill of accomplishing something meaningful
• constant feeling that I am behind

Lucy is most precious bright star:

• no sleep for precocious toddlers in our family apparently because she has not been asleep before 11pm more than once in the last two weeks.
• I am worn out by 10 am each day
• have seriously contemplated nearly full time preschool/daycare so at least someone can stimulate her for 8 hours a day.
• breath-stealing guilt that I am sometimes annoyed by her smart, capable, little personage, after my oft-mentioned heartache of having a child with disabilities. 

Finally took care of myself and went to the doctor for shoulder pain:

• not only do I have a rotator cuff injury, but something is f’d up in my elbow as well.
• need to go to physical therapy 2-3 times a week for at least a month
• personal mini-crisis wondering how the hell I am supposed to be strong enough to care for my disabled child when I am only going to get older and weaker
• guilt for not going to the gym regularly so I could have avoided this injury, be in better shape and live a healthier life for me and my family.

I am now going to clean the guest room, one room, (I can do it) while Lucy is FINALLY taking a nap. 

Every Action

has an equal and opposite reaction:

Jake off of his Adderall XR:

• more verbalization
• more silliness
• less able to sit in class
• more clearly visible by his reactions that he is “there” because he is making sounds and laughing appropriately at funny things
• I feel like I need to research every drug on the market to find him a new drug that will help him focus without losing what little verbal ability he has.

Travel to Tahoe, Southern California, East Bay and everywhere else we went this summer:

• Lots of great memories for kiddos and grownups
• Nice things to reference in the car when we there is a crybaby Lucy who misses her cousins
• Out of control laundry and suitcases that have not officially been unpacked completely in over a month.
• Nagging feeling that I am behind

I have finally done all of the laundry:

• can’t find any time to fold it unless I am awake at 2am
• can’t find anything because it is in a gajillion baskets all over my bedroom
• brief sense of accomplishment until I open the dryer and find more clothing that, while clean and dry… is still magically not going to be folded and put away.
• constant feeling that I am behind

Date night with Descartes on Thursdays:

• happy husband and wife who actually talked…to each other.. throughout an entire dinner about more than just who needs to go potty.
• less cash
• less time to do crappy laundry (see above)

Can I Sit With You? book number two being published this fall:

• whooo hoooo excitement and thrill of accomplishing something meaningful
• constant feeling that I am behind

Lucy is most precious bright star:

• no sleep for precocious toddlers in our family apparently because she has not been asleep before 11pm more than once in the last two weeks.
• I am worn out by 10 am each day
• have seriously contemplated nearly full time preschool/daycare so at least someone can stimulate her for 8 hours a day.
• breath-stealing guilt that I am sometimes annoyed by her smart, capable, little personage, after my oft-mentioned heartache of having a child with disabilities. 

Finally took care of myself and went to the doctor for shoulder pain:

• not only do I have a rotator cuff injury, but something is f’d up in my elbow as well.
• need to go to physical therapy 2-3 times a week for at least a month
• personal mini-crisis wondering how the hell I am supposed to be strong enough to care for my disabled child when I am only going to get older and weaker
• guilt for not going to the gym regularly so I could have avoided this injury, be in better shape and live a healthier life for me and my family.

I am now going to clean the guest room, one room, (I can do it) while Lucy is FINALLY taking a nap. 

Coolness

We had our reading at Book Passage yesterday for Can I Sit With You? (www.canisitwithyou.org).

It was really pretty neat to present our book in the same little nook of Book Passage that hosts celebrities like Anne Lamott, Salman Rushdie, Lewis Black, Carl Hiaasen, Henry Winkler, Barbara Walters, Mario Batali, Brian Copeland, Maria Shriver, Alexander McCall Smith, Leah Garchik, Isabel Allende, John Gray, Amy Tan.. not all of these people are my favorite authors, but they are names most people recognize.. and I stood at the same little podium and talked with Shannon about our book, the impact I hope we are making, and how we managed to do it all for very little money, all the while adding to the coffers of our Special Ed. PTA SEPTAR (www.septar.org)

You know we are doing a second book. We are still accepting submissions until the end of the month. If you have a story that you would like to tell but aren’t sure you can write it yourself I would be happy to ghost write it for you. Just send me an email and I will help. We can even use a pseudonym if you don’t want your name associated with the story but you think it should be told. C’mon write a story send it to ciswysubmissions@gmail.com it will make you feel better to get it off your chest.

Thanks for all of your support.

Super Geek!

I just reformatted my computer. It’s really not hard. Ijust popped in a disk after sorting through hundred and hundred of files.

In fact it was sort of like organizing a bunch of paper, setting half of them on fire then pulling out a new notebook.

My computer is no longer singing that high-pitched sad whine…perhaps I can rejoin the wired world.

We are back from Seattle and the show was fantastic! Sage was HIL-LARRY-US. I love to hear my husband laugh like that. More when am not so cranky because it was much too wonderful a weekend to spoil with computer drama.

We have a reading next week at Angelica’s Bistro downtown, so make your reservations.

Wednesday May 7th 7:30pm
Angelica’s Bistro
863 Main Street, Redwood City, CA 94063
Tel. 650.365.3226

Super Geek!

I just reformatted my computer. It’s really not hard. Ijust popped in a disk after sorting through hundred and hundred of files.

In fact it was sort of like organizing a bunch of paper, setting half of them on fire then pulling out a new notebook.

My computer is no longer singing that high-pitched sad whine…perhaps I can rejoin the wired world.

We are back from Seattle and the show was fantastic! Sage was HIL-LARRY-US. I love to hear my husband laugh like that. More when am not so cranky because it was much too wonderful a weekend to spoil with computer drama.

We have a reading next week at Angelica’s Bistro downtown, so make your reservations.

Wednesday May 7th 7:30pm
Angelica’s Bistro
863 Main Street, Redwood City, CA 94063
Tel. 650.365.3226

Wow! Watch Out Seattle

So you know we have a show in Seattle for Can I Sit With You? a book reading.. and now NPR is officially going to cover it. This is so exciting.. for nerds like me (a nerd with out a PhD in something), being mentioned even by proxy on NPR is tantamount to having a paper published in a scholarly journal, and since I know that’s probably never going to happen, NPR is the next best thing for me. I mean I just thought about that this very moment, but I am pretty sure that’s what I think.

So if you know anyone in Seattle, know anyone who likes Seattle, know anyone with a lot of frequent flyer miles and is bored..send them our way.

tickets on sale now http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/30612

Friday, April 25, 2008 8:00pm
Annex Theatre
1122 E. Pike St.
Seattle, WA 98122
(206) 728-0933

Scheduled performers:

SJ Alexander lives in Seattle, avidly follows the doings of Britney Jean Spears, and is a Kennedy Administration buff. SJ writes almost daily at “I, Asshole” online.

Els Kushner is a librarian and writer who lives in the Pacific Northwest with her spouse, their daughter, and far too many books. Her website, Book Book Book, is at www.bookbk.blogspot.com.

Liz Henry lives in many intersecting communities, as a feminist, poet, translator, blogger, science fiction fan, queer & genderqueer writer, and computer geek. She’s had work published in Parthenon West, Xantippe, Lodestar Quarterly, Poetry Flash, Two Lines, Cipactli, caesura, other, Literary Mama, Strange Horizons, and has been publishing zines and little books since 1986.

Sarah M. Glover is a recovering C.P.A. who lives and writes in San Francisco. She is currently using her young children as guinea pigs while manically scribbling away about ghosts and fairies. Hopefully, the scribbling will make it into a book before they leave for college.

Michael Procopio lives in San Francisco, but has yet to figure out the precise name of his neighborhood. He is a food blogger who dislikes the word “blogger” almost as much as he does the words “moist,” “classy,” and “slacks.” His likes include the drawings of Edward Gorey, Cotswold cheese, and the musical stylings of Jacques Brel. His websites are www.word-eater.blogspot.com, and www.kqed.org/weblog/food.

Jason Kovacs is a native of the I-5 corridor whose writing has appeared in Cranky Literary Journal, ZYZZYVA, and Jeopardy Magazine (you could go find all that stuff and read it, except it is all published under Jasons old name and Kovacs is his shiny new name). Jason does not like cilantro, and does not understand people who do.

Judy McCrary Koeppen lives with her family in the San Francisco Bay Area. She works as a speech language pathologist specializing in early intervention. When not being paid to hang out with really great kids, she chases her own two children and cares for her family’s ever-increasing number of pets.

Cindy Emch is a highway poet. She can be found writing reams of valentines and love letters to her adventures on a daily basis. She calls them poems. Her words are salty and crunchy like sweat and gravel, and they tell queer mossy secrets. Cindys work has been been published in Lodestar Quarterly, There Journal, Its So You: 35 Women on Fashion, Beauty, and Personal Style (edited by Michelle Tea), and numerous chapbooks. She co-hosted The Aunty Cindy and Unka Lynnee Show with Lynn Breedlove on Pirate Cat Radio from 2004 to 2007, and has been a curator for the National Queer Arts Festival since 1995. Emch is the founder and co-host of San Franciscos twice-a-month Queer Open Mic, which features queer folks of all colors, cultures, and creeds performing their awesome lit to encourage the building of bridges between art, community, and revolution.

Sarah Dopp is a San Francisco-based writer and tech geek. She co-founded TheWrit.org, an online writing workshop and publication which has survived in a state of anarchy for almost five years. She’s also the editor of Genderfork.com, a blog that explores androgyny and gender variance through artistic photography. Sarah was a member of the 2003 New Hampshire Poetry Slam Team, and likes to think of herself as a “recovering slam poet.” You can learn more about Sarah and read her blog at SarahDopp.com.

Special thanks to Annex Theatre (http://www.annextheatre.org/) for donating their space to this event. “Annex Theatre is dedicated to creating bold new work in an environment of improbability, resourcefulness and risk …”