Road Trip

This morning will be hectic, and I will feel scattered, and a wee bit guilty, and rushed and hurried and will desperately try to sort out and fold the rest of the laundry.

I will leave an empty dishwasher, a fridge with both lasagna and 2+ pounds of bacon, cooked perfectly, and in the pantry there is every form of cracker/chip munchie one could desire. There is beer and milk in the fridge, and an empty garbage can under the sink. I made 2 pounds of home made chicken nuggets.

The children will have proper care this afternoon, and they both have clean hair and clean socks today.

and so,

I
am
outta
here.

road trip with girlfriends…*wooooooooot*

it’s been years, in fact the last road trip with girls was to the California State PTA conference, and while I did have a great time.. that is not exactly a choice destination… Sacramento?

So I got a Leetle sucked in…

when I recently ran across this article Young HA, et al, Thimerosal exposure in infants and neurodevelopmental disorders: An assessment of computerized medical
records in the Vaccine Safety Datalink, J Neurol Sci (2008), doi:10.1016/j.jns.2008.04.002

I am not one to flutter about (HA!) having the life sucked out of me by the Internets

okay Yes I am, but I really started to read this study and I thought KRAP..maybe that damn thimerosal is the culprit (knowing full well that Jake had no thimerosal in his vaccines…) It’s published by the Journal of Neurological Sciences it really seems legit, but it kept saying funny things (a direct quote follows):

“For example, 37% of autism cases in the study were diagnosed
after 5 years old with about 50% diagnosed after
4.5 years old. This is a conservative estimate since it includes
the 2 years (1995–1996) that had shorter follow-up times.
Examination of the distribution of age of diagnosis by birth
year for autism revealed that only about 15% of cases were
diagnosed after 5 years of age in the 1995 birth cohortwhile the
1996 cohort had no cases diagnosed after 5 years of age and
only 3.5% of cases diagnosed between 4.5 and 5 years of age.
Based on the average age at diagnosis for all cohorts, the 1995
count of autism cases was increased by 45 cases with the assumption
that all of these would have been added in the 5 year+
age group (bringing this percentage close to the overall average
of 37%diagnosed after 5 years of age). The same was done for
1996, but the number of cases was augmented by 80 because it
was assumed that these would be diagnosed in the 4.5 to 5 and
5+ groups essentially bringing the percentage diagnosed after
age 4.5 close to the overall average of 50% diagnosed after
4.5 years of age. The newaugmented frequency counts of cases
in 1995 and 1996 birth cohorts were then used as the new case
counts in the analysis.”

I am pretty sure if you re-read that a few times it seems like they ADDED autism diagnosis where there were none. They added them because in other years there were more? Because it seemed like there should have been more? Isn’t that not exactly examining the data? Isn’t that actually making up the data? I went poking around the Internet and discovered that I was not the only person to think it was a leetle bit off.. a much better explanation of all of the faults can be found over at Epi Wonk . Thank you Epi Wonk for being so smrt
(If you rad through responses to her post you’ll also find some of the best crazy comments by John Best who is a very angry man who I will not bother to link to.)

Anywhoo I know this has been out for about a month but as usual I am slow to respond. BTW it also seems like half of the references in the “study” reference one Geier or another. Isn’t that a little bit suspect as well?

okay all done…

Lucy dislocated her elbow today threatening to throw off our entire “escape from Deadwood” plan… I thought she cracked her wrist the way she was holding it. I was holding her hand when she decided she did not want to go get her special needs brother from the short bus (we need to drive down the hill to pick him up) She dropped to the floor and twisted at the same time. I heard a horrible sound. What I heard was her little bone slipping out from between her other two little bones. Yechh. She cried. I cried. I made an appointment to go to the urgent care where the doc promptly shoved her little elbow back together (making me feel a little like an idget since my dad and I had JUST talked about this happening to me 6 hours prior). It is called nursemaid‘s elbow. I called it milkmaid elbow in a Tweet earlier but I have now figured it out.
So she is fine now and Jake is sleeping soundly, and it is only 85 degrees outside at 12:20am and I only need to pack Lucy and Jake by tomorrow am. No big whoop.

I think I shall go to bed.

I am always

…amazed by the kindness of others towards my special needs child:

• I know amazing women who helped make something wonderful happen.. an inclusive art project. We had the “art opening” at the Main Library here in Deadwood City. This is the art that was made possible by the grant applied for by DoubleTrouble and executed by Mamalicia, then turned into beautiful cards by Captain Blog. To order your set of cards visit our website and send an email to septarinfo@gmail.com
• the buddy Jake did his art project with came to the opening with his momma. He is the same boy who went on a date with us on Thursday. I must say again that he is one of the kindest little boys I have ever met. While he was at the library he made Jake a card that said “I had a great time at Johnny Rockets. I am having a great time at the library today too. I really like being your buddy.” He drew pictures of a fish and several other creatures. He thanked me for inviting him to the art show. It was more than heart warming.

…surprised by death, even when we know it is coming, for all of us eventually:

• my girlfriend Pinks lost her momma this week after a very long battle with cancer. It was hard for me not to go be with her, even though it was not expected, and cost prohibitive, and would have been extremely hard on Descartes to juggle both children and work.
• I have an acquaintance, someone I met through close friends who has just entered the hospital for hospice. She is dying. She’s only 38. I won’t pretend that we are close friends, but I have laughed more than a few times with her, and care very much about Lovey who is her best friend. It will be so hard on Lovey and there is just not much we can do to make it easier for either of them. She is dying, and we knew it was going to come. We have known for awhile, but it is just so hard to imagine that the girl who danced on the bar with me, at Tao, in Vegas…is the same girl who is trying to get pain relief in her final days.
• I do not, at all, fear my own death. Not in any way, except to be pained that I will not be able to care for Jake, and who else will possibly care for him if I am not here. I am reminded that I need to get our ducks in a row to make sure that Jake and Lucy will be cared for in case I am surprised by my own demise.

…perplexed that I cannot make simple foods, but have mastered the most complex of recipes:

• I cannot make pancakes from a mix. I suck SUCK at making pancakes. I need to look up how to hard boil an egg, and I have failed at Jello every single time I have ever made it. Who fails at Jello?
• I can make an angel food cake from scratch, a soufflé which defies gravity and a chocolate cheesecake that was good enough to garner $200 at an auction.

…delighted when watching my husband plan an adventure:

• we are planning our ten-year anniversary mini-vacation, and have just, in our typical fashion decided that we should go while Jake is at camp at the end of June!
• we have decided to stay on the west coast of this continent and that is as far as we have gotten. Exceptions may be made for Jamaica, Banff, and Montana.
• we have recently excluded Panama due to the high incidence of armed robberies and kidnapping. We do not currently have time to be kidnapped.
• high on the list: Ten-ee-ah Lodge,
  

The Royal in Cancun (technically not on the Pacific Coast, I know.)

…disappointed that I cannot complete simple household projects:

• our downstairs bathroom has been “undone” for a year. It is only half drywalled and has the new toilet installed. We have also managed to place the shower stall floor pan. We have purchased the tile and the grout, and the glass for the shower but just can’t seem to get it together to finish the damn thing.
• we have new lights, purchased in December, for the hallways up and down and Jake’s bedroom which currently has the old overhead light with no glass in it. It broke last December which is why I bought the lights in the first place. I am hoping that eventually he will not have to stare at bare bulbs.

…thankful that this is my life, exactly as it is:

• i have the most precious children, the smartest husband and the coziest home. I am a lucky woman.

Descartes’ Birthday Present to Me

I forgot to post this earlier. My birthday is in February, but it took a long time to get framed.. so very kind of him, it’s the cover of the book Can I Sit With You? Descartes is always good at thoughtful gifts… for Mother’s day today he managed to find good candy corns (in May!) a kumquat tree (one of my favorite fruits), and we went together on a family adventure up and down the Peninsula searching for and eventually buying backyard patio furniture.

That’s blood on Jake’s face. He started bleeding while we were in Ikea. He wasn’t upset, just sort of cracking up (which is, now that I think about it, a way that he deals with pain ugh.) We sort of made a hurry up decision and got out of the gigantor store instead of fighting our way back up to meatballs in the cafe which we had planned on (Lucy was singing a meatball song.. poor girl.)

Instead we drove the kids through McDonald’s. Lucy and Jake were pleased to see chocolate shakes, and Jake apparently has entered a new level of eating.. he now eats like a man. A man. Crickey he ate a 5 piece chicken select meal with a bloody mouth. Lucy then proceeded to pour nearly an entire shake down the front/side of her. We heard a large “Uh Oh!” as we had started to drive away.
It’s a little blurry, but here’s the photo…

Descartes’ Birthday Present to Me

I forgot to post this earlier. My birthday is in February, but it took a long time to get framed.. so very kind of him, it’s the cover of the book Can I Sit With You? Descartes is always good at thoughtful gifts… for Mother’s day today he managed to find good candy corns (in May!) a kumquat tree (one of my favorite fruits), and we went together on a family adventure up and down the Peninsula searching for and eventually buying backyard patio furniture.

That’s blood on Jake’s face. He started bleeding while we were in Ikea. He wasn’t upset, just sort of cracking up (which is, now that I think about it, a way that he deals with pain ugh.) We sort of made a hurry up decision and got out of the gigantor store instead of fighting our way back up to meatballs in the cafe which we had planned on (Lucy was singing a meatball song.. poor girl.)

Instead we drove the kids through McDonald’s. Lucy and Jake were pleased to see chocolate shakes, and Jake apparently has entered a new level of eating.. he now eats like a man. A man. Crickey he ate a 5 piece chicken select meal with a bloody mouth. Lucy then proceeded to pour nearly an entire shake down the front/side of her. We heard a large “Uh Oh!” as we had started to drive away.
It’s a little blurry, but here’s the photo…

Babies in The House

We have a full house! My sister Demanda came into town on Thursday wih her two boys, and Jaster, her husband just arrived yesterday.

There are babies everywhere..or more accurately toddlers (her boys have just turned one)..and Jake has not stepped on a single one.

Jake has been very happy to play on the front deck since it hadn’t been raining. of course now the rain is back and along with it very cold weather. I still let him play on the deck today while it was sprinkling. He came in on his own when it was raining too hard. He came in and when I asked him if he wanted some warm cozy clothes He stopped in his tracks and stood net to me. He let me help him out of wet sticky clothes that were hard to get off his body, and was extremely compliant in getting two layers of shirts on along with sweats and socks.

It seem like he is following directions better these days.

examples, last Sunday, his Oma, Cookie, went downstairs to say hi to him while he was playing in his room. She headed back upo the stairs and called behind her, “Jake,come upstairs and say hi to Papa when you’re ready.” He marched right upthe stairs behind her and went over to the couch and pounced on Papa.

twice in the last week: me “Jake if you want more to drink you will need to bring me your cup.” and the cup is then off of the floorin the hallway and back on his little counter where he eats his breakast.

Our House.. in the Middle of a Storm

Today:

• Sage had to borrow our house for bathing (hope it’s okay that I shared Sage) because her house was not cooperating in the plumbing department… sand bags and a new sump pump probably mean she will not be bringing the kids over later for a bath.
• I made a home made chicken pot pie while the power was still on this morning..as it turns out we never lost power and the chicken pie fell into the category of “Uhm, you don’t need to make that again honey.”
• Jake went out the dog door during a very, very bad bout of rain (while I was changing my shirt..he’s that fast). I had to chase him on the deck and bring his wet self back in. Oddly enough, even though we bathe him every single night he still smelled more like wet dog than our dogs do.
• I changed my shirt again.
• Lucy emptied the dog food all over the kitchen floor. Luckily it is dry food that had been placed in freshly washed bowls.. but I still think that CPS would not approve of “Chicken Soup for the Soul Adult Dog Food” as a healthy snack for children (again Jake is very quick).
• Lucy climbed over the side of her crib and came back upstairs refusing to take a nap.
• I got a migraine and threw up.
• While I was throwing up Lucy got a ball point pen off of the counter and drew all over part of her face (by accident I think.. she was trying to put the lid on and had the lid in her mouth.. hmm do you think she is copying mommy much?)
• While I was throwing up our larger Golden Retriever Chandler (he came with the name from Retriever Rescue.. and yes it is short for Chandler Bing) decided that he finally would deal with the rain and go outside to pee..only I had closed the gate so no one would escape anywhere while I was yakking…so instead…. oh yes, he did.. he PEED ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR! Do you have any idea how much liquid a golden retriever bladder can hold? Well it is enough to cover a 10×12 (or so) kitchen and the stairs that lead to the back door.
• I began to mop? wipe? hose down? saturate with spic and span? the kitchen floor.
• I paused and called Descartes to give him an update on where our family was for the day.
• Descartes came home in remarkable time considering that half of the streets in our town are flooded. He also picked up all of our recycling bins that had floated/been wind-gusted down the street.
• Descartes convinced Lucy to take a nap while Jake played quietly in his room so daddy could work and mommy could take a nap.
• I slept for 1 hour and 45 minutes..migraine gone.
• We fed the kids and did bath time..except Jake was in a pissy mood and decided to kick his sister so he went into the shower while Lucy took a bath.
• Jake refused to get out of the shower, and while I was dealing with him Lucy pooped in the tub. Fanfuckingtastic!
• Children eventually went to bed, tub got bleached and beers have been cracked.

Lucy has only hopped out of bed once since she went down an hour ago. Big girl bed will be purchased tomorrow.

Hope you had a nice day.

MRI tomorrrow

in denial…
haven’t been posting because I would need to say something about it..
Jake has had at least four MRIs but this time I am worried, so it s different..before I was just working as the Lead Investigator on Jake’s case. I was a researcher…detached. I also thought we would find something that would tell us that he would be “okay”

this time I am worried we will find something that will tell us he’s not

Snot head

She still looks pretty cute..even covered in snot.

Snot head

She still looks pretty cute..even covered in snot.