AdventureVan

We had a big weekend after a sort of harried week, running around trying to prepare for this big weekend. We called banks, moved money around, photocopied and faxed papers and made a zillion phone calls. We oiled, smogged and waxed and wiped, then packed and drove to Tahoe, and everything went exactly as it should.

Our family loves a good adventure. We plan well, and try to account for most contingencies, but the story is always better when things go wrong, as long as those things do not interrupt sleep or safety. In an effort to thwart those particular types of problems, and with great hope that we will be able to have Jake and Lucy experience as much of this country (continent?) as we can help them experience, in spite, and a bit because of disability, Descartes researched, and we just bought this weekend…

AdventureVanthis really is a photo of our van with Lake Tahoe in the background.

Sorry that this “MonsterVan“, as little Hawk called it, has only this small picture to post so far. I have yet to photograph the entire thing myself. This van will allow us to go camping with Jake and know that he will be safe at night, locked in tucked away and cozy. It has 4-wheel drive, so we can set up camp in locations that are more off the beaten path, which generally means farther away from other people and their cars. We can keep Jake safe in the woods, near bodies of water, cliffs and rocks, but it is nearly impossible to protect him from careless drivers in campgrounds, or the evil scowls from neighboring campers when he is hooting and hollering with happiness.

AdventureVan is gigantic, seats 12, has a pop up top to provide a sleeping area, and provides our family with the comfort of being able to carry everything we need.

Descartes spent a lot of time researching these types of vans. He actually told me he started to look when Jake was only 3 or 4, after he realized that our family’s camping experience would probably need to look a bit different than what camping looked like when he was a child. The first thing we had to do was trade our beloved LandCruiser, but I know it was time to let it go (notice the mileage on the odometer over there). We took some great trips in that car, and it was the first major purchase Descartes and made together after we were married. I stepped outside the house just as the new owner of the Cruiser was starting the engine, and I was suprised to have my eyes well up. I know it’s going to a good home, a Daddy and his two beautiful girls. We all ended-up with what we needed.

As soon as the papers were all signed and keys traded, we put in all of the car seats, noting how easily they all fit across the bench seats. We put Wolf, Hawk and Lucy across the back, Jake had his own row and Jaster and Demanda sat in the front bench. We enjoyed lunch at one of our favorite Mexican food places, Taqueria Jalisco, where the seating is easy and the customer service is kind and the food is delicious. Then we made Descartes drive us all around and all the way to Red Lake
Jaster and Descartes did a happy dance on the banks after they discovered that the lake is indeed frozen over, and already shows signs of ice fishing, with 3 or 4 holes drilled already. I smiled happily because the children were all asleep (except Jake of course). A happy, driving, napping van. Descartes guided our crew back to South Lake through a snowstorm.

Our first big trip will probably be to the Grand Canyon, but we will put the van to good use before then. I’m hoping for a grownups only trip to the wine country. It needs to be vacuumed and spit shined a bit, but it is so cool and the kids love it, and my husband is happy. The kind of happy that I haven’t seen sustained in a while, and it looks good on him.

We made a good choice.

Victories

I’ll take ‘em however I can get ‘em

Just went to the grocery store with both of my children. We are all still alive, and it was actually a “real” shopping trip…or at least we filled the cart. I was just telling Squid that while I’m quite certain I paid more than I normally would for some items, I am willing to pay more if it means that I got to take my special needs kid out on an errand that will be a part of his life forever and have it go better than okay. He was happy and jumpy and squealy and smiling. Lucy was begging for ham and bagels. I was able to keep hold of Jake’s hand AND get Lucy her raisin bagel. I am calling that success.

I only got one “oh poor you” look, and it was from another mom with a kid in her cart that was “too old” to be there, playing with a small box. Perhaps her look was actually “oh poor you, I have one of those too.”

We got help to the car from a young kid who thought Lucy was the most precious kid who ever landed on the planet. And she is precious, but mostly because she finally fell asleep in the car on the way home allowing me to unload the groceries and make dinner for both kids sans drama and “I NEEEEEEEED that Mommy.”

Now I just need to get through dinner and bath time.

I can do it.

I can do anything if I can take those two kids to the grocery store.

Time flies…

when you are having as much fun as we’ve been having. We went to Tahoe last Wednesday night and I am so glad we left for the holiday weekend early. I had Jake’s aide at the house keeping the kids busy while we packed the car, Descartes still worked a full day and it only took us 4 hours to get there so we still had an evening with grown ups once we got there.

We went to the beach on the third. Baldwin beach, where we baptized little Lucy (that seems like a hundred years ago…). It was so great to have Jake be happy, happy and comfortable in/near the water and in the sand (since sorting earth has been a recent favorite past time of his). He waded into the lake, smiled a lot and didn’t steal any toys from small children (once we gave him his own shovel). Lucy was very excited, and I am proud to say that as much as she really likes her Sugar Plum Fairy ballet costume, she was even more eager to chase the minnows in the lakeside stream. “It tickles!” she exclaimed loudly enough for the minnow to swim away.

It is a personal goal of mine to raise a daughter who is just as comfortable in hiking boots as she is in high heels. I am also hoping she can easily tie a tippet to the leader, tie a bow tie and tie an apron. Somehow right? She can choose who she wants to be, but I want her to learn all the parts so she can know what she is and isn’t choosing. Does that make sense? Anywhoo. I was thrilled then when the a couple of days later, Lucy stood there in a little dress calling for me to check out the biggest ant she’d ever seen. That’s my girl. No Lucy leave the ant alone he doesn’t need to be on your finger…

It was tiring at the beach, the sun, the altitude, ensuring that one of us was with each kid at all times. They can’t really be managed by one person right now. Not with water and parking lots and other families. Descartes was able to give Jake some physical space and let him get about 3 yards away. I let him get to about 5 yards at one point. It’s hard to give him the space and independence he so desires without putting us too far back should he need us, quickly as he sometimes does. We’re trying, and I know he had a really good time. Of course we should have left 5 minutes earlier, which would have been just a few minutes after I said to Descartes, “We should go, it’s probably about time for Jake to poop, and I don’t want to deal with the swim diaper.” Ah. If I could only listen sometimes…perhaps that will be a gift I receive in my 40s. That part of the day sucked with a capital SUCK, but I carry wipes and nitrile gloves and baggies and extra pull ups and clothes and a loving husband who is willing to grab any one of those things, or hold a struggling kid even when I use my highly-directive voice. It worked out just fine.

We went for a bike ride on the Fourth of July. It was pretty much a perfect day. We moved much faster than vehicular traffic that’s for darn sure, and the kids had a giggly, napping sort of time. We rented trailers and bikes because we had been too tired to bring our own, but, as it turns out our bike trailer for Jake is actually a lot taller, longer and perfect for him. His head stuck out the rented trailer so he had no sun shade, and with a flick of his foot his toes could just reach Descartes’ back tire. Let me tell you how (not) awesome it is to watch your hypotonic child throw his foot over the edge of the bike trailer, have his gigantor size 4 shoe get caught under the bar and have his ankle roll around until his foot popped back out. I was riding behind the boys, with Lucy in my trailer, and I was fairly certain that not only was I going to watch my son’s foot fly off, but I was possibly going to run it over, thereby making my life truly a horror story. With fairly constant “reminders” Jake stayed inside the trailer doing wacky things like nearly lying on his back with his feet at the top,tapping his feet on the bar that attaches the trailer to the bike, and occasionally flipping his $60.00 shoes off. The good news is that the ice cream at Camp Rich was cheap. $2.50 for a huge HUGE kid’s scoop, and that pretty made much made us forget that it was really scary. We will probably do it again.

Saturday we went to the South Lake Tahoe rec center park which is all gated-in HURRAH! I am so happy that people have figured out that parents feel safe when their kids can’t run into the parking lot. It has a terrific play structure and swings and a volleyball court, and picnic tables. Lucy went on the big kid swing for the first time; all by herself with no back-up. I teared-up of course. She never really was a baby, but she is just catapulting past the milestones.

Jake spent a lot of time watching everything, sifting through the bark and sand. It is so hard sometimes to help him engage. I took him up on the play structure (something he does on his own at school)but he got panicky before I could help him on the slide. Perhaps he does have some depth perception issues? He did sit really happily cuddled against me on a park bench for a while. That was crazy. It is so uncommon for Jake to sit and cuddle that Jaster and Demanda stayed back, afraid to interrupt the mood. It made me feel very close to him at just the right moment. I have been missing him lately, all the while spending more time than I normally do with him. How is it possible for me to understand him so intimately, guess so many of his needs, and feel so distant from him.
note to self: I need to make a list of the things I know make Jake happy, things we can do together since it is all too easy to let him go off on his own, scattering pebbles and sifting the bark out of my flower beds.

We had such a nice weekend it was hard to leave, but managed to get it together and head home early Saturday evening. Once again we skipped most of the traffic. Lucy was so tired she whined a lot of the way. Jake just smirked in her direction.

Time flies…

when you are having as much fun as we’ve been having. We went to Tahoe last Wednesday night and I am so glad we left for the holiday weekend early. I had Jake’s aide at the house keeping the kids busy while we packed the car, Descartes still worked a full day and it only took us 4 hours to get there so we still had an evening with grown ups once we got there.

We went to the beach on the third. Baldwin beach, where we baptized little Lucy (that seems like a hundred years ago…). It was so great to have Jake be happy, happy and comfortable in/near the water and in the sand (since sorting earth has been a recent favorite past time of his). He waded into the lake, smiled a lot and didn’t steal any toys from small children (once we gave him his own shovel). Lucy was very excited, and I am proud to say that as much as she really likes her Sugar Plum Fairy ballet costume, she was even more eager to chase the minnows in the lakeside stream. “It tickles!” she exclaimed loudly enough for the minnow to swim away.

It is a personal goal of mine to raise a daughter who is just as comfortable in hiking boots as she is in high heels. I am also hoping she can easily tie a tippet to the leader, tie a bow tie and tie an apron. Somehow right? She can choose who she wants to be, but I want her to learn all the parts so she can know what she is and isn’t choosing. Does that make sense? Anywhoo. I was thrilled then when the a couple of days later, Lucy stood there in a little dress calling for me to check out the biggest ant she’d ever seen. That’s my girl. No Lucy leave the ant alone he doesn’t need to be on your finger…

It was tiring at the beach, the sun, the altitude, ensuring that one of us was with each kid at all times. They can’t really be managed by one person right now. Not with water and parking lots and other families. Descartes was able to give Jake some physical space and let him get about 3 yards away. I let him get to about 5 yards at one point. It’s hard to give him the space and independence he so desires without putting us too far back should he need us, quickly as he sometimes does. We’re trying, and I know he had a really good time. Of course we should have left 5 minutes earlier, which would have been just a few minutes after I said to Descartes, “We should go, it’s probably about time for Jake to poop, and I don’t want to deal with the swim diaper.” Ah. If I could only listen sometimes…perhaps that will be a gift I receive in my 40s. That part of the day sucked with a capital SUCK, but I carry wipes and nitrile gloves and baggies and extra pull ups and clothes and a loving husband who is willing to grab any one of those things, or hold a struggling kid even when I use my highly-directive voice. It worked out just fine.

We went for a bike ride on the Fourth of July. It was pretty much a perfect day. We moved much faster than vehicular traffic that’s for darn sure, and the kids had a giggly, napping sort of time. We rented trailers and bikes because we had been too tired to bring our own, but, as it turns out our bike trailer for Jake is actually a lot taller, longer and perfect for him. His head stuck out the rented trailer so he had no sun shade, and with a flick of his foot his toes could just reach Descartes’ back tire. Let me tell you how (not) awesome it is to watch your hypotonic child throw his foot over the edge of the bike trailer, have his gigantor size 4 shoe get caught under the bar and have his ankle roll around until his foot popped back out. I was riding behind the boys, with Lucy in my trailer, and I was fairly certain that not only was I going to watch my son’s foot fly off, but I was possibly going to run it over, thereby making my life truly a horror story. With fairly constant “reminders” Jake stayed inside the trailer doing wacky things like nearly lying on his back with his feet at the top,tapping his feet on the bar that attaches the trailer to the bike, and occasionally flipping his $60.00 shoes off. The good news is that the ice cream at Camp Rich was cheap. $2.50 for a huge HUGE kid’s scoop, and that pretty made much made us forget that it was really scary. We will probably do it again.

Saturday we went to the South Lake Tahoe rec center park which is all gated-in HURRAH! I am so happy that people have figured out that parents feel safe when their kids can’t run into the parking lot. It has a terrific play structure and swings and a volleyball court, and picnic tables. Lucy went on the big kid swing for the first time; all by herself with no back-up. I teared-up of course. She never really was a baby, but she is just catapulting past the milestones.

Jake spent a lot of time watching everything, sifting through the bark and sand. It is so hard sometimes to help him engage. I took him up on the play structure (something he does on his own at school)but he got panicky before I could help him on the slide. Perhaps he does have some depth perception issues? He did sit really happily cuddled against me on a park bench for a while. That was crazy. It is so uncommon for Jake to sit and cuddle that Jaster and Demanda stayed back, afraid to interrupt the mood. It made me feel very close to him at just the right moment. I have been missing him lately, all the while spending more time than I normally do with him. How is it possible for me to understand him so intimately, guess so many of his needs, and feel so distant from him.
note to self: I need to make a list of the things I know make Jake happy, things we can do together since it is all too easy to let him go off on his own, scattering pebbles and sifting the bark out of my flower beds.

We had such a nice weekend it was hard to leave, but managed to get it together and head home early Saturday evening. Once again we skipped most of the traffic. Lucy was so tired she whined a lot of the way. Jake just smirked in her direction.

Maybe…

Maybe I’m not managing my time well. It all seems to be slipping away from me. I have so much to do and not enough hours and at the end of the day? I still feel like I haven’t accomplished much. My MIL, Cookie, told me once how she was constantly frustrated when her kids were little because when her husband would build a wall, or set up the sprinkler system, or some huge task, everyone (her self included) would cheer and praise his big accomplishment… and somehow, everything she seemed to do was undone within hours and needed to be done again, over and over again– with no one cheering.

I’m sure I am not alone in my frustrations. Other SAH’s or WAH’s must feel this way sometimes right? Lucy is two and I have a child with special needs,but I still think I should be able to get a lot more done. But lately? Well, I am just too tired to tackle the big stuff. Probably depression? Normally when I get the blues I start to kick-ass. I was told years ago that this kicking-ass part is just another way that people cope. I am hoping that the kicking comes back soon, I have a LOT to get done.

In other news.. we had a terrific IEP the other day. Jake will be evaluated in all categories including ABA, which we have never previously pursued. I feel like he finally has the ability to physically sit still long enough to benefit from this kind of learning, and he has been doing discrete trial learning in the classroom set up by his teacher Janet. I think an outside set of eyes can help determine a good home/school plan that will help him keep moving onward and upward which he seems to be doing lately.

He went on the second grade field trip at school. The entire second grade went to a local children’s discovery museum. I was actually a chaperon and had not just Jake, but TWO other boys in my group. Anna, Jake’s regular aide was out sick, so Lala went with us. She was great with him, and it allowed me to actually have this small but “mixed” group. Of course one of the kids was George, Jake’s buddy from the other classroom. He continues to be one of the nicest children I have even met. The other boy was Freddo, who I had never met before. He was shy at first and rode to the museum on the school bus..but he asked to ride home in my van with Jake. It could have had something to do with the little tv showing ShrekII, but I will take it how I can get it. Jake was such a good boy all day. I think he was thrilled to have his friends in the car with us, and I think I may try to take all three boys to Gilroy Gardens or some other fun over the summer.
I have always thought the the children at Jake’s school were nice kids. Of course there are going to be a few bad eggs, but on the whole, well-mannered, well groomed, good spirited kids. I was thrilled to see all of “our” second graders behaving so well at the museum. I watched with dismay those kids from another school not sharing, blocking the stairs, pushing each other, running inside and generally not saying excuse me if they stepped on your toes. One of our kids asked so nicely to use a toy (that the other child had TWO of) and when that child said “no”, our kid reiterated that he would only have it for a minute, and when the response was still no? Our kid said, well, okay, and pretended-on in his game without the toy, leaving the other kid standing there with lots of toys and no one to play with. I think I am going to write a letter to our school principle letting her know just how great our kids were, and how nice it was to see all of the school mission statements being played out in public.

To Do:
Lucy thank you cards for amazing birthday gifts from friends and family
Letter to Jake’s principle
Call the Director of Special Ed and talk about scheduling evaluations
Pack Jake for camp (he leaves this Sunday)
Pack Lucy for Cookie and Papa’s house (she leaves on Saturday)
Pack Jennyalice and Descartes for anniversary trip (leaves on Sunday)
Buy a new coffee pot

Hey–my dad is in town. He finished up his grades at the college, cleaned up his office and came up here this morning. He will be here until Saturday morning. I believe Lucy is calling him Grappa now. So she has Grandpa, Papa and Grappa, Grandma, Oma and Noni. Pretty lucky kid. I am just so excited that he is here. He is an easy house guest, happily reading on the couch, offering love to children passing by.

Tomorrow I will take my dad to coffee so he can meet Squid, Liz, Badger, Ep, Jo and the incomparable Barak.

[just so you know I had to take a break here because Lucy is doing some self-potty training and decided to drop her drawers in her room , but whne she couldn't find her little potty she bacame upset, and apparently, while I was happily sitting in the backyard on my laptop enjoying a cool breeze.. she crapped all over the place and was very distraught by the mess. So the Daddy hosed the girl and I crawled around and cleaned poop off of every surface where it was, and most surfaces where it wasn't as well. I also scrubbed out the cushion covers from the million dollar glider that is in the room, and her pajamas.. all covered in poo. Who knew that the NT kid would present me with more poo problems than the "special" kid?]

Lucy goes to her last day of daycare at Nanny Kidwell’s house tomorrow. Nanny is moving on to preschool pastures and a matching 401k. Sux for us, but a smart move for her. It has been a great place for Lucy to grow and learn.. and get out of my hair! HA! We bought Nanny a pretty ring with a blue stone to thank her for her affection, determination, structure and warm heart. I am so glad we got to know her and her two wonderful daughters (who can still babysit!)

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I need to make lists now. Lots of lists.

Maybe I am feeling a dose of ass-kickery coming on? Maybe?

I am always

…amazed by the kindness of others towards my special needs child:

• I know amazing women who helped make something wonderful happen.. an inclusive art project. We had the “art opening” at the Main Library here in Deadwood City. This is the art that was made possible by the grant applied for by DoubleTrouble and executed by Mamalicia, then turned into beautiful cards by Captain Blog. To order your set of cards visit our website and send an email to septarinfo@gmail.com
• the buddy Jake did his art project with came to the opening with his momma. He is the same boy who went on a date with us on Thursday. I must say again that he is one of the kindest little boys I have ever met. While he was at the library he made Jake a card that said “I had a great time at Johnny Rockets. I am having a great time at the library today too. I really like being your buddy.” He drew pictures of a fish and several other creatures. He thanked me for inviting him to the art show. It was more than heart warming.

…surprised by death, even when we know it is coming, for all of us eventually:

• my girlfriend Pinks lost her momma this week after a very long battle with cancer. It was hard for me not to go be with her, even though it was not expected, and cost prohibitive, and would have been extremely hard on Descartes to juggle both children and work.
• I have an acquaintance, someone I met through close friends who has just entered the hospital for hospice. She is dying. She’s only 38. I won’t pretend that we are close friends, but I have laughed more than a few times with her, and care very much about Lovey who is her best friend. It will be so hard on Lovey and there is just not much we can do to make it easier for either of them. She is dying, and we knew it was going to come. We have known for awhile, but it is just so hard to imagine that the girl who danced on the bar with me, at Tao, in Vegas…is the same girl who is trying to get pain relief in her final days.
• I do not, at all, fear my own death. Not in any way, except to be pained that I will not be able to care for Jake, and who else will possibly care for him if I am not here. I am reminded that I need to get our ducks in a row to make sure that Jake and Lucy will be cared for in case I am surprised by my own demise.

…perplexed that I cannot make simple foods, but have mastered the most complex of recipes:

• I cannot make pancakes from a mix. I suck SUCK at making pancakes. I need to look up how to hard boil an egg, and I have failed at Jello every single time I have ever made it. Who fails at Jello?
• I can make an angel food cake from scratch, a soufflé which defies gravity and a chocolate cheesecake that was good enough to garner $200 at an auction.

…delighted when watching my husband plan an adventure:

• we are planning our ten-year anniversary mini-vacation, and have just, in our typical fashion decided that we should go while Jake is at camp at the end of June!
• we have decided to stay on the west coast of this continent and that is as far as we have gotten. Exceptions may be made for Jamaica, Banff, and Montana.
• we have recently excluded Panama due to the high incidence of armed robberies and kidnapping. We do not currently have time to be kidnapped.
• high on the list: Ten-ee-ah Lodge,
  

The Royal in Cancun (technically not on the Pacific Coast, I know.)

…disappointed that I cannot complete simple household projects:

• our downstairs bathroom has been “undone” for a year. It is only half drywalled and has the new toilet installed. We have also managed to place the shower stall floor pan. We have purchased the tile and the grout, and the glass for the shower but just can’t seem to get it together to finish the damn thing.
• we have new lights, purchased in December, for the hallways up and down and Jake’s bedroom which currently has the old overhead light with no glass in it. It broke last December which is why I bought the lights in the first place. I am hoping that eventually he will not have to stare at bare bulbs.

…thankful that this is my life, exactly as it is:

• i have the most precious children, the smartest husband and the coziest home. I am a lucky woman.

My Friend Betty

Betty died this morning. Of course I would have known that she was sick had I actually delivered the library books last week when I was supposed to, but my life got in the way and she fell ill and went to the hospital, so that when I went today (and towed along my best friend and her precious 2 1/2 year old to visit some “Grandmas”) she was gone.

Talk about feeling like a heel for not delivering the library books on time.

I have been volunteering for the library since 2003. I think it’s been that long. I deliver books, to a few others previously, but consistently for the past 5 years 5 YEARS! to Betty and her friend Marie at an “old-folks” home nearby. Marie is still alive and kicking. She told me not to cry. She reminded me that Betty was 91, and that she had a great life. and it’s true, she did, but I will miss seeing her and hearing her stories and watching her take joy in my daughter and share concern for my son.

So here, for the record, lest I ever forget such a beautiful human are some things about Betty.

• Betty was a smart woman, clearly using every year of her life to gather more information and hone it for precision communication. She was quick in conversation and more recently when she began to forget some words, she wrote them down, so she wouldn’t get frustrated. She just carried her list, adding words as she lost her ability to recall them without the aide. I told her that made her pretty smart. She told me it was a pretty annoying thing to not be able to remember the word “muffin”.
• Betty was beautiful, and it was obvious, even at 91 that she had been an athlete, and not surprising at all that she didn’t stop playing tennis until she was 82.
• She was an artist, painting large canvases with all of the joy that color brings; the blues of the coast and the flowers of the field. Though her canvases grew smaller over the years, her love of color grew bolder, and her hand more free. I enjoyed every painting of hers I ever saw.
• She loved my little girl, and was so, so pleased when I became pregnant with Lucy. She was so thrilled when she found out that Lucy was Lucy and not Lance or Lucas. And her eyes twinkled every single time I brought Lucy to see her.
• She marveled at my husband’s role in our family, ever impressed that he both went to work every day to provide resource for our family and managed to change diapers and bathe children when he came home. She said quite often that I had clearly chosen an amazing mate. (It is nice to be externally reminded sometimes.)
• Betty had a great sense of humor, or at least one that I appreciated because she laughed at all my jokes, and was wry and dry right back to me.
• She hated being old, which comforts me knowing that she doesn’t need to suffer through it anymore. She was never in poor health that I saw, not really, but she was bored with an active mind and a body that wouldn’t jump and leap as it had in youth. Since she couldn’t run about as she had, she read, sometimes 20 books in a month.
• Betty reminded me of my grandmother Lotte, a woman I miss every single day of my life. I felt so privileged, so lucky, to be able to have met a second woman who had so many qualities I admire.
• She was a good friend to Marie, and ostensibly a loving mother, who raised three very independent daughters.
• She was a good friend to me, always speaking frankly, openly, asking direct questions about Jake and always offering suggestions or encouragement.
• Betty loved hearing stories about Jake’s successes, and she always, always, asked about this health and development if I did not offer the information.
• She loved beauty and color and music and filled her life, and even her small room with all of those things.

There are lots of things I will never know about Betty. She wasn’t really my grandmother. I just borrowed her for a time. I somehow doubt her family will even contact me, although I left my information. I was just the library book delivery girl to their mother. They do not live near here, so they don’t know that we visited once a month for nearly five years, that she knows so much about my life, that she encouraged me to have another child, even knowing that it was a scary, possibility that I would have another child with special needs. They don’t know that she wept when she found out that Lucy was “just fine”, and got weepy when Lucy said “Hi Betty.”

They don’t know that she gave my daughter a first birthday card and that we exchanged Christmas gifts. They probably don’t know that Lucy and I made special trips to the flower shop for Thanksgiving, and Christmas, Valentine’s, Easter and Mother’s day, where Lucy picked out flowers or plants to give Ms Betty and Ms Marie.

It doesn’t matter that they don’t know those things, as long as Betty knew that we loved her, and I think she did. I hope she did.

Christmas 2007 Part Two

What a beautiful morning. The sun is shining the palm trees are actually swaying in front of my hotel room balcony. We are the luckiest people in the entire world.

My daughter likes to eat jelly straight out of the jar…and run around nekkid.

My son could live all day in the shower here. It is 5 feet by 7 feet with a soft-toned but well placed light imbuing the entire shower enclosure in a warm, cozy hue.

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There is nothing open on Christmas day. Not in Newport Beach. We know this. We knew this, and yet somehow we still decided to “go grab lunch” instead of ordering room service again. I’m not sure why I was so price-resistant. I couldn’t bear to spend 60 more dollars.. which is kind of silly because a) my parents are treating us and b) that’s just about what lunch for four costs no matter where you go around here.

We found a Chinese restaurant open on Balboa Island RiceLand. Lucy slept while Jake and Descartes and I ate Chinese food in the car. The we drove to the park near my mom’s house to let Jake run around before he would be required not to.

When we got to the park, Lucy was still sleeping so Descartes slept in the car too while Jake and I went over to the play area and scared all of the other parents there. I swear they were afraid their kids would “catch” whatever Jake had. I don’t think we get as many stares in Deadwood City. Maybe I am used to my neighbors, or more confident, or Jake is more comfortable in his own zone so he looks more “normal”, but these people were a little afraid I think of the gigantic 7 year old who was on the kiddie play structure in a little ball with his head twisted upside down (so he could look ‘directly’ at everything) making crazy cookoo noises. Don’t forget that every once in a while he would hop up, make a big noise and run, hands at half staff flapping just a bit, and the sand from the top of his head flying everywhere. Got to overhear a great conversation about how none of them could live without their nannies and television to occupy their children. I am so looking forward to finding new help for Jake in the new year.

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My mom and dad’s house looked beautiful, as it always does. It would be a beautiful house without anything in it, but they have exquisite taste and they both love Christmas so there are little Christmasy things everywhere and a gorgeous tree and bless them, a tent outside where the china and glassware gets set up and the door closed so the kids can still play in the family room.
Descartes and I had already discussed asking my parents if Jake could open his presents before everyone else got there, and they were happy to accommodate. It was great. Lovely new flannel sheets, and a million other things, and the best present… from my step sister Sarsaparilla and James… three wind-up tops that you place on the ground, smack with your hand then they spin and light up with great colors. We all thought they were cool, and of course Jake loved them. She is always so thoughtful. You can tell she really searched for something age appropriate that he would enjoy. It is such a great feeling when people embrace your kids.

Dinner was fantastic, Gerard made smoked tri-tip, we had a ham and scalloped potatoes and and sundry yums, and, of course, my favorite beverage–champagne. Jake went to sleep in the back bedroom, Lucy was precious and did NOT have the first melt-down of the evening… an all-around success for our little family.

**************************
Late tonight I got to thinking about Bubsy putting out carrots for reindeer and milk and cookies for Santa last night. It was so precious and so painful to watch. Of course we have never had a kid who asked to do those things, and we never offered… we never offered. Wow. That alone was enough to bring me to tears tonight, but let’s add the fact that we have never spent a Christmas in our own house. Every Christmas of Jake’s life we have been in Southern California. I am a firm believer that it should never matter where you are, but who you are with on any given day. My home is where Descartes and my kids are…but we never had a kid say “How will Santa find me?” or “Can’t we sleep at our house for Christmas?”I think we may be at our own home next year. We can go to SoCal the weekend before Christmas and have that time with my family… or who knows, by this time next year I will have forgotten my tears on the balcony and just have memories of this beautiful view.

Christmas 2007 Part Two

What a beautiful morning. The sun is shining the palm trees are actually swaying in front of my hotel room balcony. We are the luckiest people in the entire world.

My daughter likes to eat jelly straight out of the jar…and run around nekkid.

My son could live all day in the shower here. It is 5 feet by 7 feet with a soft-toned but well placed light imbuing the entire shower enclosure in a warm, cozy hue.

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There is nothing open on Christmas day. Not in Newport Beach. We know this. We knew this, and yet somehow we still decided to “go grab lunch” instead of ordering room service again. I’m not sure why I was so price-resistant. I couldn’t bear to spend 60 more dollars.. which is kind of silly because a) my parents are treating us and b) that’s just about what lunch for four costs no matter where you go around here.

We found a Chinese restaurant open on Balboa Island RiceLand. Lucy slept while Jake and Descartes and I ate Chinese food in the car. The we drove to the park near my mom’s house to let Jake run around before he would be required not to.

When we got to the park, Lucy was still sleeping so Descartes slept in the car too while Jake and I went over to the play area and scared all of the other parents there. I swear they were afraid their kids would “catch” whatever Jake had. I don’t think we get as many stares in Deadwood City. Maybe I am used to my neighbors, or more confident, or Jake is more comfortable in his own zone so he looks more “normal”, but these people were a little afraid I think of the gigantic 7 year old who was on the kiddie play structure in a little ball with his head twisted upside down (so he could look ‘directly’ at everything) making crazy cookoo noises. Don’t forget that every once in a while he would hop up, make a big noise and run, hands at half staff flapping just a bit, and the sand from the top of his head flying everywhere. Got to overhear a great conversation about how none of them could live without their nannies and television to occupy their children. I am so looking forward to finding new help for Jake in the new year.

***************************
My mom and dad’s house looked beautiful, as it always does. It would be a beautiful house without anything in it, but they have exquisite taste and they both love Christmas so there are little Christmasy things everywhere and a gorgeous tree and bless them, a tent outside where the china and glassware gets set up and the door closed so the kids can still play in the family room.
Descartes and I had already discussed asking my parents if Jake could open his presents before everyone else got there, and they were happy to accommodate. It was great. Lovely new flannel sheets, and a million other things, and the best present… from my step sister Sarsaparilla and James… three wind-up tops that you place on the ground, smack with your hand then they spin and light up with great colors. We all thought they were cool, and of course Jake loved them. She is always so thoughtful. You can tell she really searched for something age appropriate that he would enjoy. It is such a great feeling when people embrace your kids.

Dinner was fantastic, Gerard made smoked tri-tip, we had a ham and scalloped potatoes and and sundry yums, and, of course, my favorite beverage–champagne. Jake went to sleep in the back bedroom, Lucy was precious and did NOT have the first melt-down of the evening… an all-around success for our little family.

**************************
Late tonight I got to thinking about Bubsy putting out carrots for reindeer and milk and cookies for Santa last night. It was so precious and so painful to watch. Of course we have never had a kid who asked to do those things, and we never offered… we never offered. Wow. That alone was enough to bring me to tears tonight, but let’s add the fact that we have never spent a Christmas in our own house. Every Christmas of Jake’s life we have been in Southern California. I am a firm believer that it should never matter where you are, but who you are with on any given day. My home is where Descartes and my kids are…but we never had a kid say “How will Santa find me?” or “Can’t we sleep at our house for Christmas?”I think we may be at our own home next year. We can go to SoCal the weekend before Christmas and have that time with my family… or who knows, by this time next year I will have forgotten my tears on the balcony and just have memories of this beautiful view.

Christmas 2007 Part One Day Three

• Christmas EveDinner at Gerard and Pinky’s house.
• Pizzas on the grill YUM.
• Lota and lots of prezzies for the kids.
• Jake goes to bed before we get a chance to really open presents.
• Descartes and I are sad because Jake can’t handle any more social time, but he is also not really asleep. So basically it feels like we have locked him in a room.
• Lucy and Bubsy open their Christmas presents while wearing Disney Princess costumes. Bubsy is Sleeping Beauty, Lucy is Tinkerbell. At some point they convince an adult to open a box of 12 different princess shoes. Girls go clacking through the hallways on the Terrazzo floors.
• My brother Gerard spends most of the evening in the garage working on a car.. a Barbie Pink Esclade for Bubsy.. one of those electric things.