Descartes’ Birthday Present to Me

I forgot to post this earlier. My birthday is in February, but it took a long time to get framed.. so very kind of him, it’s the cover of the book Can I Sit With You? Descartes is always good at thoughtful gifts… for Mother’s day today he managed to find good candy corns (in May!) a kumquat tree (one of my favorite fruits), and we went together on a family adventure up and down the Peninsula searching for and eventually buying backyard patio furniture.

That’s blood on Jake’s face. He started bleeding while we were in Ikea. He wasn’t upset, just sort of cracking up (which is, now that I think about it, a way that he deals with pain ugh.) We sort of made a hurry up decision and got out of the gigantor store instead of fighting our way back up to meatballs in the cafe which we had planned on (Lucy was singing a meatball song.. poor girl.)

Instead we drove the kids through McDonald’s. Lucy and Jake were pleased to see chocolate shakes, and Jake apparently has entered a new level of eating.. he now eats like a man. A man. Crickey he ate a 5 piece chicken select meal with a bloody mouth. Lucy then proceeded to pour nearly an entire shake down the front/side of her. We heard a large “Uh Oh!” as we had started to drive away.
It’s a little blurry, but here’s the photo…

Descartes’ Birthday Present to Me

I forgot to post this earlier. My birthday is in February, but it took a long time to get framed.. so very kind of him, it’s the cover of the book Can I Sit With You? Descartes is always good at thoughtful gifts… for Mother’s day today he managed to find good candy corns (in May!) a kumquat tree (one of my favorite fruits), and we went together on a family adventure up and down the Peninsula searching for and eventually buying backyard patio furniture.

That’s blood on Jake’s face. He started bleeding while we were in Ikea. He wasn’t upset, just sort of cracking up (which is, now that I think about it, a way that he deals with pain ugh.) We sort of made a hurry up decision and got out of the gigantor store instead of fighting our way back up to meatballs in the cafe which we had planned on (Lucy was singing a meatball song.. poor girl.)

Instead we drove the kids through McDonald’s. Lucy and Jake were pleased to see chocolate shakes, and Jake apparently has entered a new level of eating.. he now eats like a man. A man. Crickey he ate a 5 piece chicken select meal with a bloody mouth. Lucy then proceeded to pour nearly an entire shake down the front/side of her. We heard a large “Uh Oh!” as we had started to drive away.
It’s a little blurry, but here’s the photo…

Let’s See, Where Have I Been?

Well, there was a massive migraine this weekend. The kind that includes throwing up..bile….yum. And what else? Oh yeah. Rats. Yes, rats.

Call PETA. I killed two of them in the last week. There is a long story there that includes the fact that my 6’5″ husband is really, very disturbed by rats, dead or alive. That puts me (voluntarily) in charge of rat clean up. He is really a wonderful husband and father, so in this one area, it is my pleasure(?!) to take care of cleaning little bloody paw prints from our very own Remy off of the floor, and picking up his lifeless body after it has been ferociously snapped by my baited trap.

Rats in your kitchen suck. If you have never had a rat in your kitchen consider yourself the luckiest person in the world. Our neighbors removed a ton of brush from their front yard (big bushes and 500 + square feet of juniper). It is better for the neighborhood to remove the habitat, but in a pinch, it turns out that the space behind the kitchen baseboards in my house makes a decent enough home for two rats for a week. I am normally a generous hostess.

We spent nearly all day on Sunday removing the baseboards, then taking wire mesh and stapling it up under the kitchen cabinets so that the 1 1/2″ opening was sealed. I then crawled under the back kitchen window box and discovered where they were coming in and sealed it up with steel wool and more fine metal mesh. Let us pray that there were a)only two of them b)if there were more than two, that they are all trapped outside the house and not inside and c)in the current torrential downpour the little buggers do not attempt to get in our home through any other narrow secret rat passage.

Perhaps I will recover soon and share more exciting things like:

• Jake pooped on the potty at school AGAIN!
• Lucy, at 20 months has begun speaking in 8-word sentences: “Mommy, I want to wash my hands please.”
• Descartes and I had a lovely first play date with a couple and their two children… where Jake’s (dis)abilites were neither feared nor obsessed over. We just had a plain old relaxing time. The mommy works with Descartes and the daddy is a kid watcher like me.. but he is a master home brewer.. play`dates are always better with beer!
• The backyard patio is done and Descartes has re-worked the pergola thingy and we have enough amps in the outside subp-panel to put a hot tub out there!
• Jake has been answering more questions with yeah and nah!

Let’s See, Where Have I Been?

Well, there was a massive migraine this weekend. The kind that includes throwing up..bile….yum. And what else? Oh yeah. Rats. Yes, rats.

Call PETA. I killed two of them in the last week. There is a long story there that includes the fact that my 6’5″ husband is really, very disturbed by rats, dead or alive. That puts me (voluntarily) in charge of rat clean up. He is really a wonderful husband and father, so in this one area, it is my pleasure(?!) to take care of cleaning little bloody paw prints from our very own Remy off of the floor, and picking up his lifeless body after it has been ferociously snapped by my baited trap.

Rats in your kitchen suck. If you have never had a rat in your kitchen consider yourself the luckiest person in the world. Our neighbors removed a ton of brush from their front yard (big bushes and 500 + square feet of juniper). It is better for the neighborhood to remove the habitat, but in a pinch, it turns out that the space behind the kitchen baseboards in my house makes a decent enough home for two rats for a week. I am normally a generous hostess.

We spent nearly all day on Sunday removing the baseboards, then taking wire mesh and stapling it up under the kitchen cabinets so that the 1 1/2″ opening was sealed. I then crawled under the back kitchen window box and discovered where they were coming in and sealed it up with steel wool and more fine metal mesh. Let us pray that there were a)only two of them b)if there were more than two, that they are all trapped outside the house and not inside and c)in the current torrential downpour the little buggers do not attempt to get in our home through any other narrow secret rat passage.

Perhaps I will recover soon and share more exciting things like:

• Jake pooped on the potty at school AGAIN!
• Lucy, at 20 months has begun speaking in 8-word sentences: “Mommy, I want to wash my hands please.”
• Descartes and I had a lovely first play date with a couple and their two children… where Jake’s (dis)abilites were neither feared nor obsessed over. We just had a plain old relaxing time. The mommy works with Descartes and the daddy is a kid watcher like me.. but he is a master home brewer.. play`dates are always better with beer!
• The backyard patio is done and Descartes has re-worked the pergola thingy and we have enough amps in the outside subp-panel to put a hot tub out there!
• Jake has been answering more questions with yeah and nah!

Backyard Makeover Continues

The paver guys come tomorrow. In a matter of days the bulk of the backyard will be finished. It will cost about $2000 a day to have it done. That is an ugly amount of money… I do however think that this money is better spent now on Jake and his happiness than saving it for an unknown college future. Perhaps that is short-sighted of me, but I want my son to have a safe place to play. A place where he is happy so his sister thinks he is cool and fun…and selfishly? I want to look at a nice backyard when I come into my house and when I do the dishes. It is a good thing for the family. It is painful to pay others for something we physically can do, and technically can understand, but we are realizing that we actually don’t have as much time to complete projects as we think.

When I was Jake’s age I helped my dad build things. I helped garden. I cleaned out the garage with my mom. I sorted laundry. I forget that some of the reason I can’t get done what my mother seemed to accomplish easily is because I have this special needs kid. He can’t help on those projects, but more than that, I can’t actually do them because he can’t be trusted to stay safe while I do the task. Gardening in the front yard would be inviting death since we have no fence keeping us from the street..and we are on a hill. The property in the back would seem a place he could play while I plant bulbs or weed, but there is an empty lot with another hill that leads to neighbors who aren’t all that nice. Anyway. I fold laundry downstairs while Jake plays close by on the deck. Friday I had the babysitter play with the kids on the deck so I could garden on the hill in the front but still spend time near them. It felt a little bit like when I was a kid. I guess I want my kids to have memories of me like I have of my dad digging and planting.

To me gardening is a physical expression of hope and faith. Planting a bulb and waiting months for the promise of a bloom? You can water and weed the area, mulch and still you might not get a flower later. Most times you do, but if it’s anything like the planting at our house–in my harried rush to plant in five minute spurts here and there, I throw all of the bulbs in a box in October. Then in February, March and April… I never even know what kind of flower is going to come up.

Backyard Makeover Continues

The paver guys come tomorrow. In a matter of days the bulk of the backyard will be finished. It will cost about $2000 a day to have it done. That is an ugly amount of money… I do however think that this money is better spent now on Jake and his happiness than saving it for an unknown college future. Perhaps that is short-sighted of me, but I want my son to have a safe place to play. A place where he is happy so his sister thinks he is cool and fun…and selfishly? I want to look at a nice backyard when I come into my house and when I do the dishes. It is a good thing for the family. It is painful to pay others for something we physically can do, and technically can understand, but we are realizing that we actually don’t have as much time to complete projects as we think.

When I was Jake’s age I helped my dad build things. I helped garden. I cleaned out the garage with my mom. I sorted laundry. I forget that some of the reason I can’t get done what my mother seemed to accomplish easily is because I have this special needs kid. He can’t help on those projects, but more than that, I can’t actually do them because he can’t be trusted to stay safe while I do the task. Gardening in the front yard would be inviting death since we have no fence keeping us from the street..and we are on a hill. The property in the back would seem a place he could play while I plant bulbs or weed, but there is an empty lot with another hill that leads to neighbors who aren’t all that nice. Anyway. I fold laundry downstairs while Jake plays close by on the deck. Friday I had the babysitter play with the kids on the deck so I could garden on the hill in the front but still spend time near them. It felt a little bit like when I was a kid. I guess I want my kids to have memories of me like I have of my dad digging and planting.

To me gardening is a physical expression of hope and faith. Planting a bulb and waiting months for the promise of a bloom? You can water and weed the area, mulch and still you might not get a flower later. Most times you do, but if it’s anything like the planting at our house–in my harried rush to plant in five minute spurts here and there, I throw all of the bulbs in a box in October. Then in February, March and April… I never even know what kind of flower is going to come up.

Happy New Year!

Jake’s MRI results came back …. NORMAL!

so that’s good.. very very very good.

There are apparently no abnormalities in his brain.

When he was younger, his first MRI showed that he had delayed myelenation. So I guess now his myelin is all caught up. That actually makes me a little sad. Isn’t that odd? It is a moment of somber realization that, yup, he now has all of the right parts in all of the right places and he didn’t catch up developmentally. That was a possibility I guess. I mean I wasn’t holding my breath or anything, it was just a slice of possibilty.

Squid saw another perspective entirely, which is that it is great news because now we know he doesn’t have the hurdle of delayed myelin. She sees the possibility of more potential or something positive and hopeful. That’s why it’s good to have friends. When all I can see is the bottom of my half empty cup.. someone adds marshmallows.

******************
We have just decided to hire someone to finish the patio and walkway project in the backyard.. not giving up.. we are still going to do the bathroom ourselves, just trying to respect our marriage and the very small amount of time we have. I would rather die with a little debt and stay married to my wonderful husband…than fight to the death about a stooopid backyard.

so if you know a good paver/brick layer type person who wants to give us a deep discount because we are such nice people (HA!)

Still Coughing After all These Days

Poor Jake, he coughs in his sleep.
Descartes coughs and he can’t sleep.
Lucy coughs so hard she throws up.
I am a little worried that this cough and cold are not related to the laryngitis and cough I had last week.

We are a tired, sort of grey family.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake went to school today. I called to check on him and I guess he was “not himself”.

I feel very disconnected from him right now. I’m not sure I know what “himself” looks like. He just seems so non-compliant and irritated with me. Which of course makes me tired and try as I might, I’m sure I have less patience than I usually do with him.

We haven’t finished the backyard. It will be winter soon anyway. How will I entertain him after school? I don’t want to force him to sit down and do more work, and that’s what anything seems like when he doesn’t want to sit still (after sitting all day at school).

I am going to check out some ABA in action.. see if something might be good for Jake.

Always behind. Always feeling like I am not doing enough for him, or doing right by him.

One Flush or Two?

I know this is crazy…but I am so excited about the new toilets we just had installed today. Of course they were free. That is always kind of exciting… doing the “right” thing and being rewarded for it is so rare these days.

My city is giving away free toilets to homeowners on city property, if those homeowners are willing to give up their many-gallon-consuming toilets…up to three per household!
So we have new Caroma toilets with an awesome not one-size-fits-all flush system. With a choice between a lot and a little water per flush (and the “a lot” of water still being way less than previous toilets) we will be saving a bundle on water.. and happily not wasting a precious commodity on poop. I would much rather use my water share on the flowers in my front yard.

We even got an elongated bowl and ADA height

Data Download

• Helped Descartes finish the planter in the back yard. (We poured the concrete and set the posts last weekend.) Bought the lumber for the borders. Redwood is very expensive.
• Spent Friday night playing “Did Jake go out the dog door?” ALL NIGHT LONG. The answer most times was “no.” Spent a good portion of this morning researching very expensive (like 500 smackaroos) radio collar unlocking dog doors so dogs can go in and out but children cannot (unless they steal a dog collar..which would, at this point, not surprise me.)
• Celebrated BQ’s 40th birthday last night. Dinner, then fun conversation and staying late at the English Pub near Stanfurd. Good times. Cab fare home only 25 bucks. Cabbie almost drove into a wall near my house.. not good
• My back is so screwed up that it is “buzzing” in my thoracic spine area. Kind of scary. It is burning right now.. thinking that is not a good thing.
• My children made it through a most delightful Halloween party, managing not to particularly set-off my dear friends’ children. Jake has a unique ability to ruffle feathers with his lack of following directions and all. At one point Jake was surrounded by little girls in Disney Princess costumes. Lucy ate three rice crispy treats…at least. So apparently Tinkerbell is a pig.
• Remembered at 5:08pm that the flu shot clinic ends at 6pm at our doctor’s office… raced the 12 miles and made it in time, with no line…and, get this:my kids didn’t cry! Well, Jake did try to bite the nurse, but only because she was holding him down, and that does not fit into his happy place.
• Discovered through much mind melting research that perhaps the reason the guest room computer is slow is because one of the applications, or the OS itself has a memory leak. Fixing said leak requires much more work. We have had the computer for nearly 4 years and i have managed to just open it up and swap out parts etc. I hate terrorizing the environment with all of my technology upgrades, (I would rather place my carbon footprint elsewhere!) but it may be time to get a new system.
• Jake has NO school this week. None. Not a drop. Hoping for lots of nice days at the park since we can’t even escape to Papa and Cookie’s house because they are de-constructing walls to put an ELEVATOR into their house. Jake is not happy to be in a wheelchair lately ( and I don’t blame him since he can walk…) but it does mean I need to come up with a better “leash” idea so that we can safely venture out of the house. My wrist is rotten from being twisted around when Jake does his famous spin move in an attempt to break free.
• Can I Sit With You? submissions keep coming in. So exciting. Please share your story. I would love to publish it, and the deadline for publishing is coming up.
• Must go to bed