Frozy Toes

We just had a great Easter weekend in Tahoe with my sister and her family. So many things went right. Yes, I said so many things went right.

I think that’s how travel is for most people. They just pack their bags and get into the car, or get on the plane, then they check in or knock on the door and then they put down their bags and they enjoy their vacation.

I’m not about to complain about going to Tahoe, don’t worry. I already now how lucky we are to have a home there filled with supportive and loving family.. who let us stay there for free (or maybe for a case of Two Buck Chuck). It’s just that travel is so difficult sometimes that it makes us want to go back home, lock the doors and have groceries delivered.

Lucy and I went up on Thursday night, so we would be there in time for me to sing with my sister at the Good Friday Tenebrae service. I think it’s the first time I’ve made it in time to practice and be able to sing with her at church. I love singing with her, so it was very special for me.

Lucy and I had such a nice drive. We stopped and ate inside In N Out burger, something she always wants to do and never gets to, since it is often easier for our family to keep driving while I feed kids in the back. She had great table manners and we really enjoyed each other’s company. We talked for most of the car ride up.

Descartes brought Jake up after school on Friday, and despite a very big storm, made it in time to put sleepy Jake with the babysitter and still get a chance to go for a drink at a new-ish wine bar.

Saturday we took the kids sledding. Jake didn’t last in the sled even to get across the expanse of flat between the car and the hill. The powder was deep, and when he dove off of the sled we were pulling we let him stay there, playing in the snow. I stayed with him for a bit, then Descartes while the other one of us helped Jaster and Demanda with the sledding. Then I heard Descartes holler for me.

Jake lost a shoe. Lost a shoe? Lost a shoe. And of course this was the one time we had left the house without an extra pair of shoes for him. His snow boots had already been left at home, home 4 hours away, so we were pushing it with his tennis shoes. And it’s not like Jake is going to tell us where he lost the shoe. Descartes carried him back to the car so Jake could heat up his frozy toes.

It was fine. Jake and I played in the car while the little kids finished sledding, and because they are little and every hill is a mountain, it wasn’t too long before the whole gang was back to the car.

I’m not sure I’ve mentioned it yet, but we are headed on a cross-country trip this summer. We will be flying to the East coast, where we will meet Oma and Papa and their RV (which they will have driven across the country). I am going to the BlogHer ’10 conference in New York that first weekend, then Descartes, and the kids, and the grandparents will pick me up at a train station in a state I’ve never been to (Pennsylvania?) with the RV with a car in tow. I will be detailing the trip later, but basically we spend a few days with my in-laws then drive the rest of the trip across the country with our little precious children, blisfully taking in National Parks and quiet streams and fabulous diners etc.

Except I just started to worry a little bit. The shoe thing got me thinking. I know if we forget anything we are probably going to be able to afford to buy it along the way, and there is an entire RV for Jack to hang out in if we lose a shoe, but what else will happen? I’m starting to get little butterflies about the whole thing. Detailed checklists will begin shortly.

*****

We will probably be blogging (Descartes is going to go all “bloggity blog!”) the entire trip, and we will complete some of the same route that Descartes took with his family more than 20 years ago. It should be neat to take photos and take notes of the same places so many years later.

Road Trip

This morning will be hectic, and I will feel scattered, and a wee bit guilty, and rushed and hurried and will desperately try to sort out and fold the rest of the laundry.

I will leave an empty dishwasher, a fridge with both lasagna and 2+ pounds of bacon, cooked perfectly, and in the pantry there is every form of cracker/chip munchie one could desire. There is beer and milk in the fridge, and an empty garbage can under the sink. I made 2 pounds of home made chicken nuggets.

The children will have proper care this afternoon, and they both have clean hair and clean socks today.

and so,

I
am
outta
here.

road trip with girlfriends…*wooooooooot*

it’s been years, in fact the last road trip with girls was to the California State PTA conference, and while I did have a great time.. that is not exactly a choice destination… Sacramento?

First there was Hawaii… No, It was Santa Lucia?

So there was this whole “Holiday Season” thing, which made me realize a few things:

I am incredibly blessed, and to find myself going from Honolulu’s 82 degree sandy beaches to the shores of Lake Tahoe all in a two week period? That is truly amazing. To the left is a photo of Mokolii in Kaneohe Bay. We went on a little driving tour to get Lucy to take a nap.

I love my family. I was able to see 4 out of 5 siblings, and their spouses and children. Plus all sorts of parents. We are really all over the place on many topics, but one thread that runs through each of us, no matter which side, is humor. We are a funny bunch. There isn’t a stone face among us. I have laughed and smiled so much lately, and for that I am grateful.

Life really is more relaxing when there is a mai-tai in mommy’s hand.. or daddy’s or both.

Descartes and I really like each other. We enjoyed each other’s company when we were alone and when we were with my family, and I cannot think of a single disagreement we had then entire holiday break. Now this afternoon was a whole ‘nother story. just kiddin’.

I don’t ever need to swim with dolphins ever again. They were cool and all, but after Lucy got bonked in the head (I cannot upload the video clip right now, but I will someday.) I decided that it is sort of like horse back riding for me. I could probably be convinced to do it again, but I will never seek the adventure out on my own (unless I am taking a pack mule into the Grand Canyon, and then, that’s a pack mule). That’s Lucy being cross-eyed pointing to where the dolphin bonked her, but really the dolphin bonked her on the left side of her head just below her temple. By the way that is a really *really* awful sound to hear.. you know the sound of a 500+ pound animal bashing its head into the skull of your youngest child.

Lucy loves all things dolly and girlie, but she will take. you. down. in a wrestling match. She is truly turning out to be the kind of little girl I hoped we’d help grow. As much as she makes me crazy, she is full of spunk and vigor and beauty and compassion. In Hawaii she kept up in the pool and on the beach with her cousins, all older. She glammed it up with sunglasses and sundresses, but had no trouble covering her entire body with sand, rolling about in its warmth. She was a joy to watch. She had a very hard time when all the slumber parties were over.

Jake still really loves off-roading. We went off-roading at Kualoa Ranch and were lucky enough to have an entire Pinzgauer to ourselves. Jake was so happy. Lucy loved it too. The best money we have ever spent in Hawaii. I love hearing Jake laugh. He’s been laughing and smiling so much lately. He won “best grandkid” in Hawaii, due to his complete lack of crying or tantrums, unlike the other munchkins who each had to be reminded at least once that there is “no crying in Hawaii.” He received a lot of praise from my parents and I could tell it made him happy. He was a great kid on the plane both there and back, and of course he loves our drive to Tahoe.

We need to buy a small camera. We borrowed one from Descartes’ daddy, but it busted itself up half way through the Hawaii trip. I may never get the photos off that card.

I realize the more fun we have the less photos we take… or I take at least. I had my camera in my hand the entire time on the off-roading trip so it wouldn’t fly away, that’s why we have so many from that day, but I really had a great time for two weeks, and the thought of taking out and caring for a camera seemed too much a barrier. I was actually being with my family in the present.

We came back from Hawaii, unpacked our shorts and threw in sweaters and long johns and went to Tahoe the next day? the day after?

For New Year’s Eve we somehow convinced Nonie and Bob Bob to watch all four of our children and Jaster, Demanda, Descartes and I went to downtown South Lake at State Line. I cannot remember the last time I laughed that much in a single night. We played Taboo! for a long time and I’m not sure why but it turned my husband into the most hysterically funny super competitive crazy person. I’m sure the cocktails helped. Next year we are going to send the grandparents to the hotel with the kids and stay at home with the hot tub, the kitchen and the Wii. It was a great way to begin a new year, laughing. And while I had a lovely NYE last year with Squid and Seymour, I must say it was great to wake up to room service and working plumbing.
(I spent New Year’s day 2009 cleaning out the pipes in front of my house… so not awesome.)

We drove down to Cabella’s in Reno one day with all of the family in our Adventure van… so cool to have the whole family in one car like that. I sat in “the mommy seat” which means I handed out crackers and juice to all 50 kids. Nonie sat in the last row. She gets carsick. We laughed a lot. Our children took over a 125000 square foot store with no problem. At one point I am fairly certain they gave my sister 100 tokens for the shooting arcade if she would get the three, three year olds out of the ice fishing tent displays.

The weather in Tahoe was beautiful. I love it when we are trying to get kid to take a nap and we can take a little jaunt up to Emerald Bay. That’s Fanette Island in the photo. The only island in Lake Tahoe.. and I get to see it when we are just cruising around. jeesh. I am so lucky.

My many many thanks so Grandpa PJ and Grandma Corky for the lovely trip to Hawaii and to Jaster and Demanda for hosting us in Tahoe.

We are Packed

For the first time in the history of our family we were packed nearly 24 hours before our departure time. I think other people live this way all the time. Those are probably the same people who have centerpieces, and welcome mats.

I have decided that I will make a checklist for our weekend Tahoe trips so I can experience more of the peace that comes with being all zipped up this many hours before we leave.

I am still trying to finish my work, but it is looking like I might still have some to do Monday night. The good news is that Honolulu is 3 hours earlier, so I will gain more time to finish. Just occurred to me I should stop writing here and get reading over there.

Next stop The Royal Hawaiian. Maybe I’ll post from here:

AdventureVan

We had a big weekend after a sort of harried week, running around trying to prepare for this big weekend. We called banks, moved money around, photocopied and faxed papers and made a zillion phone calls. We oiled, smogged and waxed and wiped, then packed and drove to Tahoe, and everything went exactly as it should.

Our family loves a good adventure. We plan well, and try to account for most contingencies, but the story is always better when things go wrong, as long as those things do not interrupt sleep or safety. In an effort to thwart those particular types of problems, and with great hope that we will be able to have Jake and Lucy experience as much of this country (continent?) as we can help them experience, in spite, and a bit because of disability, Descartes researched, and we just bought this weekend…

AdventureVanthis really is a photo of our van with Lake Tahoe in the background.

Sorry that this “MonsterVan“, as little Hawk called it, has only this small picture to post so far. I have yet to photograph the entire thing myself. This van will allow us to go camping with Jake and know that he will be safe at night, locked in tucked away and cozy. It has 4-wheel drive, so we can set up camp in locations that are more off the beaten path, which generally means farther away from other people and their cars. We can keep Jake safe in the woods, near bodies of water, cliffs and rocks, but it is nearly impossible to protect him from careless drivers in campgrounds, or the evil scowls from neighboring campers when he is hooting and hollering with happiness.

AdventureVan is gigantic, seats 12, has a pop up top to provide a sleeping area, and provides our family with the comfort of being able to carry everything we need.

Descartes spent a lot of time researching these types of vans. He actually told me he started to look when Jake was only 3 or 4, after he realized that our family’s camping experience would probably need to look a bit different than what camping looked like when he was a child. The first thing we had to do was trade our beloved LandCruiser, but I know it was time to let it go (notice the mileage on the odometer over there). We took some great trips in that car, and it was the first major purchase Descartes and made together after we were married. I stepped outside the house just as the new owner of the Cruiser was starting the engine, and I was suprised to have my eyes well up. I know it’s going to a good home, a Daddy and his two beautiful girls. We all ended-up with what we needed.

As soon as the papers were all signed and keys traded, we put in all of the car seats, noting how easily they all fit across the bench seats. We put Wolf, Hawk and Lucy across the back, Jake had his own row and Jaster and Demanda sat in the front bench. We enjoyed lunch at one of our favorite Mexican food places, Taqueria Jalisco, where the seating is easy and the customer service is kind and the food is delicious. Then we made Descartes drive us all around and all the way to Red Lake
Jaster and Descartes did a happy dance on the banks after they discovered that the lake is indeed frozen over, and already shows signs of ice fishing, with 3 or 4 holes drilled already. I smiled happily because the children were all asleep (except Jake of course). A happy, driving, napping van. Descartes guided our crew back to South Lake through a snowstorm.

Our first big trip will probably be to the Grand Canyon, but we will put the van to good use before then. I’m hoping for a grownups only trip to the wine country. It needs to be vacuumed and spit shined a bit, but it is so cool and the kids love it, and my husband is happy. The kind of happy that I haven’t seen sustained in a while, and it looks good on him.

We made a good choice.

Every Action

has an equal and opposite reaction:

Jake off of his Adderall XR:

• more verbalization
• more silliness
• less able to sit in class
• more clearly visible by his reactions that he is “there” because he is making sounds and laughing appropriately at funny things
• I feel like I need to research every drug on the market to find him a new drug that will help him focus without losing what little verbal ability he has.

Travel to Tahoe, Southern California, East Bay and everywhere else we went this summer:

• Lots of great memories for kiddos and grownups
• Nice things to reference in the car when we there is a crybaby Lucy who misses her cousins
• Out of control laundry and suitcases that have not officially been unpacked completely in over a month.
• Nagging feeling that I am behind

I have finally done all of the laundry:

• can’t find any time to fold it unless I am awake at 2am
• can’t find anything because it is in a gajillion baskets all over my bedroom
• brief sense of accomplishment until I open the dryer and find more clothing that, while clean and dry… is still magically not going to be folded and put away.
• constant feeling that I am behind

Date night with Descartes on Thursdays:

• happy husband and wife who actually talked…to each other.. throughout an entire dinner about more than just who needs to go potty.
• less cash
• less time to do crappy laundry (see above)

Can I Sit With You? book number two being published this fall:

• whooo hoooo excitement and thrill of accomplishing something meaningful
• constant feeling that I am behind

Lucy is most precious bright star:

• no sleep for precocious toddlers in our family apparently because she has not been asleep before 11pm more than once in the last two weeks.
• I am worn out by 10 am each day
• have seriously contemplated nearly full time preschool/daycare so at least someone can stimulate her for 8 hours a day.
• breath-stealing guilt that I am sometimes annoyed by her smart, capable, little personage, after my oft-mentioned heartache of having a child with disabilities. 

Finally took care of myself and went to the doctor for shoulder pain:

• not only do I have a rotator cuff injury, but something is f’d up in my elbow as well.
• need to go to physical therapy 2-3 times a week for at least a month
• personal mini-crisis wondering how the hell I am supposed to be strong enough to care for my disabled child when I am only going to get older and weaker
• guilt for not going to the gym regularly so I could have avoided this injury, be in better shape and live a healthier life for me and my family.

I am now going to clean the guest room, one room, (I can do it) while Lucy is FINALLY taking a nap. 

Every Action

has an equal and opposite reaction:

Jake off of his Adderall XR:

• more verbalization
• more silliness
• less able to sit in class
• more clearly visible by his reactions that he is “there” because he is making sounds and laughing appropriately at funny things
• I feel like I need to research every drug on the market to find him a new drug that will help him focus without losing what little verbal ability he has.

Travel to Tahoe, Southern California, East Bay and everywhere else we went this summer:

• Lots of great memories for kiddos and grownups
• Nice things to reference in the car when we there is a crybaby Lucy who misses her cousins
• Out of control laundry and suitcases that have not officially been unpacked completely in over a month.
• Nagging feeling that I am behind

I have finally done all of the laundry:

• can’t find any time to fold it unless I am awake at 2am
• can’t find anything because it is in a gajillion baskets all over my bedroom
• brief sense of accomplishment until I open the dryer and find more clothing that, while clean and dry… is still magically not going to be folded and put away.
• constant feeling that I am behind

Date night with Descartes on Thursdays:

• happy husband and wife who actually talked…to each other.. throughout an entire dinner about more than just who needs to go potty.
• less cash
• less time to do crappy laundry (see above)

Can I Sit With You? book number two being published this fall:

• whooo hoooo excitement and thrill of accomplishing something meaningful
• constant feeling that I am behind

Lucy is most precious bright star:

• no sleep for precocious toddlers in our family apparently because she has not been asleep before 11pm more than once in the last two weeks.
• I am worn out by 10 am each day
• have seriously contemplated nearly full time preschool/daycare so at least someone can stimulate her for 8 hours a day.
• breath-stealing guilt that I am sometimes annoyed by her smart, capable, little personage, after my oft-mentioned heartache of having a child with disabilities. 

Finally took care of myself and went to the doctor for shoulder pain:

• not only do I have a rotator cuff injury, but something is f’d up in my elbow as well.
• need to go to physical therapy 2-3 times a week for at least a month
• personal mini-crisis wondering how the hell I am supposed to be strong enough to care for my disabled child when I am only going to get older and weaker
• guilt for not going to the gym regularly so I could have avoided this injury, be in better shape and live a healthier life for me and my family.

I am now going to clean the guest room, one room, (I can do it) while Lucy is FINALLY taking a nap. 

The Nicest Thing My Parents Could Write to Me…

an email I just received upon our return from Southern California:

Dear Jennyalice

PJ & I think you are doing a wonderful job of raising Lucy. She is a very delightful and charming little girl.
We really enjoyed having her here(You too)!
love,
Momma and PJ

*************

as Lucy is fond of saying “Phew. That was a close one Mom.”

I am always

…amazed by the kindness of others towards my special needs child:

• I know amazing women who helped make something wonderful happen.. an inclusive art project. We had the “art opening” at the Main Library here in Deadwood City. This is the art that was made possible by the grant applied for by DoubleTrouble and executed by Mamalicia, then turned into beautiful cards by Captain Blog. To order your set of cards visit our website and send an email to septarinfo@gmail.com
• the buddy Jake did his art project with came to the opening with his momma. He is the same boy who went on a date with us on Thursday. I must say again that he is one of the kindest little boys I have ever met. While he was at the library he made Jake a card that said “I had a great time at Johnny Rockets. I am having a great time at the library today too. I really like being your buddy.” He drew pictures of a fish and several other creatures. He thanked me for inviting him to the art show. It was more than heart warming.

…surprised by death, even when we know it is coming, for all of us eventually:

• my girlfriend Pinks lost her momma this week after a very long battle with cancer. It was hard for me not to go be with her, even though it was not expected, and cost prohibitive, and would have been extremely hard on Descartes to juggle both children and work.
• I have an acquaintance, someone I met through close friends who has just entered the hospital for hospice. She is dying. She’s only 38. I won’t pretend that we are close friends, but I have laughed more than a few times with her, and care very much about Lovey who is her best friend. It will be so hard on Lovey and there is just not much we can do to make it easier for either of them. She is dying, and we knew it was going to come. We have known for awhile, but it is just so hard to imagine that the girl who danced on the bar with me, at Tao, in Vegas…is the same girl who is trying to get pain relief in her final days.
• I do not, at all, fear my own death. Not in any way, except to be pained that I will not be able to care for Jake, and who else will possibly care for him if I am not here. I am reminded that I need to get our ducks in a row to make sure that Jake and Lucy will be cared for in case I am surprised by my own demise.

…perplexed that I cannot make simple foods, but have mastered the most complex of recipes:

• I cannot make pancakes from a mix. I suck SUCK at making pancakes. I need to look up how to hard boil an egg, and I have failed at Jello every single time I have ever made it. Who fails at Jello?
• I can make an angel food cake from scratch, a soufflé which defies gravity and a chocolate cheesecake that was good enough to garner $200 at an auction.

…delighted when watching my husband plan an adventure:

• we are planning our ten-year anniversary mini-vacation, and have just, in our typical fashion decided that we should go while Jake is at camp at the end of June!
• we have decided to stay on the west coast of this continent and that is as far as we have gotten. Exceptions may be made for Jamaica, Banff, and Montana.
• we have recently excluded Panama due to the high incidence of armed robberies and kidnapping. We do not currently have time to be kidnapped.
• high on the list: Ten-ee-ah Lodge,
  

The Royal in Cancun (technically not on the Pacific Coast, I know.)

…disappointed that I cannot complete simple household projects:

• our downstairs bathroom has been “undone” for a year. It is only half drywalled and has the new toilet installed. We have also managed to place the shower stall floor pan. We have purchased the tile and the grout, and the glass for the shower but just can’t seem to get it together to finish the damn thing.
• we have new lights, purchased in December, for the hallways up and down and Jake’s bedroom which currently has the old overhead light with no glass in it. It broke last December which is why I bought the lights in the first place. I am hoping that eventually he will not have to stare at bare bulbs.

…thankful that this is my life, exactly as it is:

• i have the most precious children, the smartest husband and the coziest home. I am a lucky woman.

Waterworks

• The LandCruiser will cost $2500 to repair, and that’s just if we fix the catalytic converters…not even trying to fix the tail light or the one bad tire (note: please make sure your tires are properly inflated. You really can ruin your tires by not making sure they are all four inflated properly…especially if you don’t rotate them!)
• Lucy refused to nap today
• The stylus for my Superphone flew out in my kitchen, landed on the floor and has disappeared.
• Jake woke up with a dry diaper again today (at 6am) and when I tried to race him upstairs (because the downstairs bathroom still isn’t done) he went willingly.. then when Lucy followed us and barged in he got mad and refused to go on the toilet.
• I was all excited to go out of town in April with my husband and just figured out that it is NOT the weekend Jake goes to camp, which would therefore make it too difficult for his grandparents to take care of him (and Lucy) for the entire weekend.. so no chance of Descartes and I ever getting away together by ourselves…ever again? for the rest of our lives?
• I am hot. While I love the idea of springtime coming.. bulbs pushing through the dirt, I am not ready for the weather change.Sweater no sweater? long socks short socks? sunblock!
• Lucy did not nap today.
• My Internet connection was down nearly all day.

Are these things that would make others cry? I sobbed on Lucy’s bed (she was playing upstairs…not napping…)

then of course I got it together and fixed the Internet connection and paid all of the bills and found some short socks.